Total Eclipse Of The Heart
by power ballad contest
Summary: From Edward's point of view, what it was like for him the months he was away from Bella in New Moon.


Total Eclipse of the Heart

The 80's Power Ballad Contest: Twilight Edition

Song/Artist: Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Word Count:

Rating: T

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Summary: From Edward's point of view, what it was like for him the months he was away from Bella in New Moon.

Disclaimer: Took a scene from New Moon. No copyright intended. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

I stood outside Bella's house waiting for her to come home from school, I kept telling myself, this is the right thing. This is best for her. After the incident with Jasper, I knew Bella deserved more than me; more than wasting her life away. I heard about ten miles down the road the roaring sound of her truck and her unusual scent blowing in the wind.

I stepped out of the car as Bella stepped out of her truck, if you could even call it a truck. I reached over for her backpack and placed it into the back of her car.

"Come take a walk with me," I suggested to her, I could tell by the look in her face that she knew something was wrong. We walked until we were in the middle of the forest and turned around to face her.

"Okay, let's talk," Bella responded bravely.

I took a very deep breath, "Bella we're leaving."

When I said this, the look on her face was enough to make any person grovel, "Why now? Another year-"

"Bella it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

She started to look confused, I'm glad she doesn't know the reasons as to why I'm doing this.

"When you say we-" she whispered.

"I mean my family and myself," Saying every word distinct.

"Okay," she said, "I'll come with you."

I shook my head, she is so stubborn, and "You can't, Bella. Where we're going . . . it's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous," She was doing everything in her power to make me stay, "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," I told her grimly.

She started to get angry, "What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right," I agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

She was shaking her head in denial, "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you," I corrected, interrupting.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted furiously, "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"

"Bella I don't want you to come with me." I spoke slowly and precise enough. Her whole face just froze with agony and pain.

"You…don't…want me?" she tried to get out the words.

"No."

She made a big gulp, "Well, that changes things."

I looked into the tress, "Of course I'll always love you . . . in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm . . . tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella, I'm not human." I looked at her and she was a bit shocked. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't." she replied with a whisper finally understanding what I was talking to her about, "Don't do this."

"You're not good for me, Bella."

"If . . . that's what you want."

I nodded.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too, much," I said.

"Anything," she vowed.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded numbly. She looked as if I had just destroyed her soul.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him."

She nodded again very stiffly, "I will," she whispered.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I told her, "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as is I never existed."

I smiled gently at her. "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And you memories?" she asked with a strained tone.

"Well" I hesitated. "I won't forget. But my kind . . . we're very easily distracted."

I took a step away from her. "That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back," she realized.

I shook my head slowly.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" Her voice was filled blatant disbelief.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

"Goodbye, Bella."

"Wait!" she choked out .

I leaned forward, and she held her arms out expecting me to hug her, but instead I gently placed a soft kiss on her warm forehead.

"Take care of yourself." I breathed against her warm skin. I walked way before she could try to stop. I knew within every fiber of my body that this was the right thing to do. It was when a simple paper cut had caused Jasper to attack her, and myself to push her towards a glass table that I realized I need to do what was right for her. I was too dangerous to be around her and I don't want her life endangered any more than it already was. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the airport in Seattle.

As I walked into the airport, I made my way the woman at the desk selling ticket. As soon as she saw, she began to stare me with a dazzled expression; her thoughts were something else though.

_Damn, he is hot! _I sighed deeply before she asked, "How can I help you today, sir?"

"I'd like a one way ticket to Rio de Janiero, Brazil."

She ran up the ticket and I paid for it, heading towards the gate. I was sitting in the chair when my cell phone rang. I looked down and sighed, Alice. I answered the phone.

"Hello," I answered.

_Alice was shocked. "Edward, what do you think you're doing? You can't go, especially not now." _

I sighed. "Alice, I need some space to gather my thoughts."

"_You're a mind reader Edward. You don't need to gather your thoughts."_

"Alice while I appreciate your sympathy, I just want to be left alone."

The intercom in the airport came on, "Flight 520 to Rio de Janerio, Brazil is now boarding."

"Alice I have to go."

"_Edward, just wait a-," _I didn't give her a chance to explain before I snapped the phone shut. I walked towards the person collecting the ticket, and the woman looked exactly like Bella. When I walked onto the plane and sat down in my seat, I gazed out the window, and I saw it again, Bella's face in the reflection.

The whole plane ride, I kept debating with myself if I was making the right decision. Bella deserved so much more than I could give her. She deserved to fall in love with a human, someone who could give her children. Together they could watch their children grow up, get married, and have children of their own, watching them run around her front lawn calling her grandma.

One day Bella will realize this is what's best for her. After eleven hours, I got off the plane as fast as I could, trying to blend in with the rest of the humans. Once I was outside I ran as fast as I could until I found what I was looking for, a worn down hotel, just what I need to keep myself isolated from my family and the public eye. I checked into the hotel and went to my room. It was not a luxurious as my family was accustomed to, but it would have to do.

For over a century, I have lived through my existence peacefully, but ever since I met Bella, she turned my world upside down. She didn't shy away from us, like other humans did. Instead it piqued her interest in us even more. She was always curious about why we never came to school on the days when the sun was out. Why we never ate our lunches that were props for blending in. When I first saw her in Mr. Banner's biology class, the side of me that I always kept in check suddenly erupted.

I had never wanted to taste human blood, as much as I did the moment she walked into the class. Every part of me wanted to just sample her blood. But I had lived with Carlisle over the years, learning to control my thirst and desire for human blood. Still, there was something about her blood that made me want to kill her; just to have it. After school, I decided that it would be best if I left Forks, before I ended up exposing my family and myself for what we truly are. I went to visit our Denali relatives in Alaska, to help clear my head. It helped for a little while, but when I went back to Forks, I was still drawn to her unusual scent; it was like my own supply of heroine.

That day in the parking lot, when Alice had that vision of the van killing her, I ran in front of her to save her. If I hadn't, her blood would have splattered all over the street. My siblings would have lost control, and fed on her blood. When I got home from the hospital that day with Carlisle, we had a family meeting about how to handle the situation. That is when everything went south. Rosalie suggested that she be allowed to kill her, Carlisle told Rosalie that the only reason he looked the other way in Rochester is because those men had wronged her monstrously. Emmett and Jasper did not care, but rather, they worried about the safety of their wives. It was only Alice's vision, that I began to panic.

Her vision was she and Bella becoming best friends, and would eventually be turned into one of us. No one in the house seemed to grasp that Alice's vision would or wouldn't come true; it just wouldn't be about that. Once Alice had revealed those visions, everyone had their own thoughts. Emmett was dumbfounded. Jasper was shocked but sending calming vibes to the family. Esme thought the relationship would be strange but as long as I was happy. Alice was excited that she would have new shopping buddy; Carlisle kept his wise, calm demeanor, and Rosalie was just Rosalie, pissed and full of hatred.

One thing that infuriated Rosalie was out of all the vampires in the world I could choose from, I chose an ordinary human. The truth was, Bella was anything but ordinary. The few times I got snippets from Rosalie's thoughts, she was jealous. I never thought I'd see the day. Regardless, one reason was because when she was first changed, she was annoyed that I never showed any interest in her like she was so accustomed to from her human life. Another reason was because Rosalie would give anything to be human again. To grow old and to have children. But being a vampire, we were frozen, never being able to move like a river.

When I started hanging out with Bella more, I found that as hard as I tried to stay away from her, she was keen on getting closer to me. The consequences would have been horrific if things went south, and my whole family would have to relocate. Rosalie didn't want to move because she would have finally finished school, and preferred this place because it had very little sun, and we could go out into public like humans did to blend in. Even though we are not human, we stood no chance of coming out in the sunlight.

I sat down on the couch, waiting for the rest of my existence to finally be peaceful.

It had been months since I left Bella. All I felt was blackness, pure, undeniable blackness. Like a demon had taken my soul away from me again, and all that was left was stone cold body. I didn't move from the cesspool of a hotel room. I couldn't move anywhere in the isolated space with seeing her face everywhere. I couldn't remember the last time I fed.

When I moved to turn on the television, I would see her walking in front of me and tripping on the carpet. Just like her usual self. When I looked into a window, I could see her dark chocolate brown eyes, gazing back at me in the reflection. No mattered where I turned, I would see a piece of her following me in her human speed. I wondered if I had done the right thing. Esme called me once begging me to come back to them, I told her no. The sound in her voice was so heart wrenching, and it tore my frozen heart to know that I had hurt Esme, the one woman who I considered to be my mother.

As I sat in my room, I kept wondering how Bella was doing. Did she finally fall in love with someone human, like I had hoped she would, someone who could help her forget the pain I had caused her when I left her? Someone who cherished her as much as I had, who would attend to her every need? Bella always wanted to make things more intimate whenever I was around her, so she was probably getting that from him. . . But the thought of someone else touching her made me want to -

Ring, ring, ring. I picked up the phone and looked at the caller I.D. Rosalie.

"What do you want, Rosalie?" I asked her in a raspy voice.

"Edward, it's Bella," she started. Why would she care about Bella? "Edward, Alice had a vision; she's dead."

I dropped the phone, and felt the shreds of my dead heart, disintegrate completely.

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